Next time on Cats Who Hoard

"Yeah, I know it's kind of out of control, but when I see something like this old rug I think, wow, I could sharpen my claws on that till they wore down to stubs and there'd still be some left. The table's a little big, sure, but it keeps the rain off me, and on sunny days I can sit on top and see forever.

"Of course, I'm always taking in stray humans, too. I just feel so sorry for them. They can't fend for themselves in the wild . . . "

When Santa brings you lemons . . .

. . .well, I don't know -- stuff your Christmas turkey with them?

Don't ask Santa, he's not feeling very jolly as he makes the lemon run this year.

Note to spammers who want to sell me a diploma

I've already got one!

From my old friends at Dover -- but this time I actually bought the book. (For $2 at a charity sale, but still.)